Australians keep being Australian

The Big Pineapple – a famous Australian landmark statue of large fruit (credit: AlizadaStudios/iStock)

On Saturday 15 March, Prime Minister Scott Morrison had an important announcement for all Australians about how we should respond to the covid-19 crisis:

“So long as Australians keep being Australian we’ll get through this together.”

It was a powerful message that nonetheless confused many, because it’s a topic we rarely have to think about outside of national holidays.

What does it mean to be Australian?

It puzzled me initially as well, but in the subsequent days, I have put together this handy list to help us make sense of it all.

(If you are not Australian, none of this will make sense to you. That’s ok, it doesn’t make much sense to us, either. But here we are.)

• Australians keep being Australian: buy an investment property and put the rent up.
• Australians keep being Australian: dob on your neighbour.
• Australians keep being Australian: have a dispute with your neighbour about a fence.
• Australians keep being Australian: blame the Greens.
• Australians keep being Australian: road rage a cyclist.
• Australians keep being Australian: subdivide.
• Australians keep being Australian: don’t list it as a private rental…